We at Control Wee never used to like poetry. We used to think it was boring, dull and, if we’re honest, completely pointless. At school it was only the geeks and the gays that used to take any kind of interest in this area of English. The only ‘poems’ that could hold our attention for more than a couple of seconds had to meet certain criteria. They were not allowed to be more than 5 lines long, had to contain rude rhyming words and make no sense whatsoever.

So, imagine our surprise when we stumbled across two poems which made us stop in our tracks and re-think our whole philosophy on poetry. Maybe this sudden appreciation of the genre was something to do with maturing as we get older. But there are so many other signs to indicate we are not yet able to claim a place at the grown ups table that this can’t be the case. Instead, we like to think that these odes are so good they would make anyone catch their breath.

Written by Perls, a Gestalt psychologist, this ‘prayer’ shows the author’s belief that people should concentrate on satisfying their own needs. If you do this and meet someone then it’s cool. If not, then you can still be happy.

Gestalt Prayer

I do my thing and you do your thing.

I am not in this world to live up to your expectations,

And you are not in this world to live up to mine.

You are you, and I am I, and if by chance we find each other, it’s beautiful.

If not, it can’t be helped.

(Fritz Perls, 1969)

Three years later another psychologist came up with a rejoinder to Perls’ verse. He seems to disagree with the sentiments of the first poem, saying that it is important not just to focus on yourself, but to look to the other person and how you relate to each other. I don’t want to say too much as it’s open to interpretation, so take a look yourself.

A Gestalt Poem

If I just do my thing and you do yours,
We stand in danger of losing each other
And ourselves.

I am not in this world to live up to your expectations;
But I am in this world to confirm you
As a unique human being,
And to be confirmed by you.

We are fully ourselves only in relation to each other;
The ‘I’ detached from a ‘Thou’ disintegrates.

I do not find you by chance; I find you by an active life
Of reaching out.

Rather than letting things passively happen to me,
I can act intentionally to make them happen.

I must begin with myself, true;
But I must not end with myself;
The truth begins with two.”

(Tubbs W. 1972. Journal of Humanistic Psychology, (12) 5 Beyond Perls)

Posted by Andromeda on Tuesday, October 30th, 2007 at 6:32 pm.