Nothing has been written on here for a very long time and, so as not to over-exert myself, I thought a copy and paste job would be most appropriate.  Control Wee by name, ctrl-v by nature.

 

This image dropped into my mailbox a couple of weeks ago. It’s obviously an attempt at humour, and a pretty good one I reckon. But how close to the truth of the matter will it prove to be?  Some of my friends are starting to look like Faith Ogden already, and I must admit I can already relate to a few of the statuses.  The only question is, will Facebook be able to keep up with us as we get older?  And do people always develop a sudden liking for knitting and cardigans, and a disliking for modern ‘music’ when they become old, or are these things cultivated over a period of time?

Media, Thoughts, Life | No Comments »

In India my favourite TV adverts at the moment are Orbit white ones. There has been a series of them all featuring the same guy who uses his expert knowledge to prove that this chewing gum makes the teeth of various bovine white as chalk. So I thought I’d share one on here. Listen out for “yellow, yellow, dirty fellow” at the end. Love it…

Adverts, Media, India | 1 Comment »

Our guest ranter, Mr Mark Jones, seems to have nothing better to do than wax lyrical about the British media these days. He has become somewhat disillusioned with the way they behave and the quality of news they share with the general public in recent times. But if that motivates him to keep on writing stuff like this then long may it continue…

Last week saw Sir Paul McCartney’s soon to be ex wife, Heather Mills, appear on British television accusing tabloid newspapers of hounding her, and generally making her life a misery. Another point that Heather made was to accuse Journalists of making things up, mostly in regard to her impending divorce case with Sir Paul McCartney.

In the eyes of the British media, Heather Mills is a liar, a gold digger and a self publicist all rolled into one. In daily columns, British journalists have vented their anger at Heather’s antics, stern words appearing every day with new slants and new accusations. This fevered anger had been growing stronger by the day. Heather Mills had kept quiet and was only seen in paparazzi photos exiting countless airports to pursue her media career, which up to this point had included a stint on an American dance television show.

It seems that the mounting pressure and criticism pushed Heather over the edge, and on England’s favourite breakfast programme known as GMTV, she decided to vent her spleen. She accused the British tabloids of lying, and of inventing huge sums of money which she claims she has not demanded from Sir Paul McCartney. Heather rounded off the interview by stating that in the following days to come, the tabloids would increase their hate campaign against her. The general consensus among the public was that Heather Mills had played right into the hands of the tabloids and made a show of herself.

But had she?

The following morning after her exclusive interview, GMTV invited one journalist who has an intense dislike of Heather Mills into their studio to vent her anger at Heather’s rant. In the eyes of non biased British journalism - was there also a guest there to defend Heather’s complaint?

No.

The same bias occurred on the BBC’s breakfast programme where another tabloid journalist attacked Heather Mills with equal vigour. Once again there was not another panelist there to defend the complaints from Miss Mills. The weekend newspapers were equally scathing in their review of her actions “How dare you criticise us about criticising you” was the general consensus. This was topped off with the usual unflattering photographs of their enemy. When looking at the whole picture, it may seem likely to some that the media had played into Heather Mills’s hands.

In the following days, polls suggested that a large slice of the British population had begun to see eye to eye with the gold digger/liar/self publicist. I must admit I felt the British Media were acting like a mafia. Not one journalist suggested or considered what the incident was incurring on the individual involved. That would be what the mafia call an ‘Omerta’. Journalists it seems were covering each others backs. Perhaps it was the feeling that someone like Heather Mills could inflict damage to them, and more importantly their viewing and sales figures.

The general impression this incident gave of British journalism is not one I would like to see repeated. It may be true that Heather Mills is a gold digger and a self publicist (would she be the first?) but her treatment has resembled that handed out to society’s worst criminals such as murderers and rapists. Another cause for concern is the rise of the ‘Indoor Journalist’ as I like to call them. Many newspapers in Britain now feature columns run by celebrities who want to give us their unique view on the lives of other celebrities. Their comments are usually critical and scathing, but their articles are also turgid beyond belief. I can only imagine that their idea of journalism is to write a few sketchy articles (normally devoid of fact) while sat at home with a coffee, squeezed in-between their busy presenting career or whatever else they are supposed to be doing.

Meanwhile up and down the land, journalists of a better calibre are driving to and fro around the country, perhaps in other parts of the world conducting interviews, collecting facts, assessing the atmosphere, only to find that their articles are rejected in favor of the growing number of celeb journos who feel it is their duty to give us their thoughts on the private lives of other celebs (usually no mark red carpet walkers).

Am I defending Heather Mills? Not particularly, but her situation has highlighted a growing concern that is affecting British newspapers: they are becoming out of touch with the people of Britain. They must remember that they are dealing with a new, techno savvy generation who will not be fooled by manipulative photographs, or the building up and pulling down of celebrities (an activity that is becoming very tiresome). They would do well to rethink their strategies and to take a closer look at their own print. If they do not, then in this world of internet journalism they will not survive.

Mark Jones

Media, Thoughts, Life | 1 Comment »

Here at Control Wee there is the philosophy, ‘if someone else wants to do the work for you, then why not let them’. Although we enjoy writing, we are more than happy to publish the rants of others. Delegation, management gurus will tell you, is a key leadership tool. And so we are going to use it whenever possible.

Mark Jones, a friend of CW, has kindly written a post for us. It speaks for itself, so needs no further introduction. Thanks Mark.

I was reading a newspaper article the other night that, once again, was widely condemning the British Broadcasting Corporation.

In another corner of the room, my housemate was leaning forward, his hands were tightly gripping a controller for the Xbox 360, and a look of intense concentration was etched across his face.

For anyone who does not know what an Xbox is: it is Bill Gates latest attempt to dominate the living room space with a next generation games machine.

For entertainment purposes, we also have a Sky television box, a computer and a DVD player with a wide selection of titles. My housemate, whom I shall call Mr X, has spent most of his free time sat at the Xbox, nigh on worshipping its addictive capabilities. Very capable it is too: you can now play poker, chess or any other game with anyone in the world. The small white box, which bears a passing resemblance to the obelisk in 2001, is considered to be the future of entertainment.

The Skybox, DVD player, and most prominently the five main terrestrial television channels are becoming less attractive (and less used) by the minute. Is the Xbox really that great. Or are Sky television et al severely lacking?

Now, back to that newspaper article. It details in length the excessive salaries paid to the BBC staff, taxi cab fairs which would seem excessive even to Caligula, and a general feeling that the BBC treats the licence fee payers with contempt. The words ‘Gravy’ and ‘Train’ are used several times in the article. There is also mention of the competition scandal involving the programme ‘Blue Peter’. Apparently a competition was organised which involved children voting for a name which would be appointed to a Blue Peter cat. The makers of Blue Peter (all fully grown adults) decided against the name chosen by the children, and chose a name they had concocted themselves.

From this you might assume that they had to change the name as the winning moniker was racist or somehow not politically correct. Well, actually, they just felt their name was better. So, yes, fully-grown adults defrauded children. Sad isn’t it?

The newspaper article concludes by stating that morale at the BBC is at an all time low, and that there may be strikes due to staff cutbacks. The cutbacks are needed as apparently the BBC overestimated the amount of money it would receive from the Government (something about spending money before it is in the bank anyone?). There is no mention in the article of how the BBC’s problems can be fixed. You must remember that a lot of journalists highlight problems; they do not suggest how they may be solved.

It might seem that I have a serious gripe with the BBC and that nothing would give me more pleasure than to see them out of business. But this isn’t true.

I admire and love the BBC. I grew up with it and regard it as a friend who taught me about the world, entertained me, and crusaded for peoples’ rights, whether they were in the UK or another continent.

However, something has gone wrong at the BBC of late. It has become a flabby, uncouth old man who is out of touch with modern Britain. It resembles a bullied and confused employee, when it should be the assertive and on-the-ball employer.

Rather than just mouthing off I’ll list my own recent gripes with the BBC now. I’ll even suggest some solutions – I am a licence fee payer after all.

BBC Radio 4

First things first, kick out all those smug useless Oxbridge graduates who have been nowhere and done nothing. Many of them are at the BBC only because of their University connections. Their whimsical reports about how they went to Italy when they were sixteen to get an ice cream are irrelevant, lazy and unimaginative. Get them out and about and tell us what is going on in the world today. Allow them to keep their raspberry-coated boring tales of youth to themselves. Where is the new Alistair Cook? Where is the new John Simpson?

BBC News

I want to see news reporters who look like they have seen some action, not pretty boys with perfect hair or celebrity dolly birds who would look more at home in an issue of ‘Hello’ magazine. Can the BBC not revolve their foreign correspondents and have them cover the news desk once in a while?

While you’re at it, some good news would be a plus. Have you asked people why they have stopped watching news bulletins? Could it be they find the programme content depressing? By good news I don’t mean Paris Hilton’s latest fashion folly or a plug for someone’s book or album. I mean stories about people who are out there doing good for their community, or trying to inspire those around them – go out and find them!

BBC Three and Four, BBC News 24

Scrap them now. They are out of touch, lazy and both about as cutting edge as a spoon. “These are great original services which represent the future of digital broadcasting” the BBC insists on telling us. Since when was putting ‘Rambo: First Blood part two’ on every night of the week original?

Newsnight and Top Gear

Don’t you dare make any changes to these two programmes. You are lucky to have them and they are the only two shows the public like. If anything you should scrap a lot of your new services to increase the budgets of these two programmes.

Digital radio shows

Scrap these. They are a waste of the licence fee and the money would be better spent elsewhere.

BBC web pages

Your BBC news page is the best on the internet and should be expanded. Please don’t waste any money on ‘niche’ web sites that are pompous and irrelevant.

Documentary cut backs

Don’t do it! Shut down your digital television and radio channels – it is time to put your house in order.

Star Power and Star Salaries

Here is the answer to your most publicised problem: YOU the BBC are the employer!

You should not be dictated to by stars or their agents: these people should be bloody grateful you gave them a job. Working for the BBC is an honour and a major boost for anyone’s career. Stars do not guarantee an audience; a quality programme will get a good audience every time. Remember your adaptation of ‘Pride and Prejudice’ back in 1996? For me it was your finest hour. Was it full of bloated, overpaid stars? No it wasn’t. Good material should come first before you start to bend over for star’s salaries. Start with established and popular material such as classic books or reinventions of popular programmes.

On the subject of bloated, we (your audience) are sick and tired of those dinosaurs you keep overpaying. Their eyes are glazed from all the free booze and their waistlines are straining from all the business lunches. Many of them are unkempt, unshaven and nearly as big as the couches they are sat on. Make them walk to work before you pay hundreds of pounds to have them carted up and down the country in a taxi.

There is an argument to say there isn’t any new talent our there. I totally disagree with this. I’m no daytime TV fan, but I think you’ve found a good presenter in Dominic Littlewood. This is a guy who was a used car salesman and has had no formal television training, but he has more charisma in his big toe than many of your RADA trained planks.

There are natural characters working on markets, driving taxis, and fixing boilers. Why don’t you have an X Factor show based on finding new presenters? You want lean and hungry people who will be grateful for the opportunity and won’t demand earth-shattering salaries.

It seems the BBC worries that they would lose their audience if the ‘stars’ left them. How many ‘stars’ leave television shows and end up coming right back? This happens because the programme was bigger than they were. Dragon’s Den has succeeded because of its formula, not its ‘stars’.

So what should the BBC do? Why not install someone radical or generally different? Wouldn’t it be great to see a boardroom full of people who are difficult, blunt, can criticise and most importantly: know what they’re talking about. It would be great to see John Simpson, Jeremy Clarkson, Jeremy Paxman, and anyone else who is either eccentric or has openly criticised the BBC, calling the shots. At the moment they have too many cooks in management, their indifference and the meals they are serving taste rotten.

Also, the BBC should start accepting criticism. BBC employees who criticise their employer should not be told to keep it to themselves. They should be listened to. Why not even have an internal debate about the future?

Conclusion

The BBC are in a period of illness, but there is a cure and the sooner they take their medicine the better. I wish them all the best and hope I see them in good health soon. I hope the BBC starts to listen to what their public says, and most importantly remembers that they are the boss.

Mark Jones

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